Dear Elijah,
It's been an emotional past few days for your mommy. I feel like I'm SUCH a wimp! Hahaha, but seriously I really felt defeated these past few days. I have tried to act like things do not bother me, and that it happens to lots of people, but I have a pretty tender heart, and I am definitely one mommy who can get hurt feelings. Thank you Jesus for your daddy, my wonderful husband who builds me up and keeps me strong. Thank you Jesus for my beautiful son Elijah (you), who I just have to look at to smile :) Elijah, I am so thankful for a God who shows me what I can learn in situations that are not always pleasant. I was actually able to stop and look at my past few days, and see what God may have wanted to teach me through it all. I can't believe how God has helped me to build character like that. I was once unable to do this as easily.
Being a mommy is not always easy, I sure knew that coming into this whole motherhood thing. Funny though, I expected you to be the challenge! So far, being your mommy is so natural and easy for me when it involves you, your daddy and I. You make it a pleasant! I can go on and on about your giggles, smiles, cuteness and all, but I think you get the picture. I take a lot of pride in being a stay at home wife and mother. I know I am doing exactly what God wants me to be doing, and I finally feel like I am fulfilling a wonderful purpose in my life. I'm glad there are many purposes to my life ;) and this one is for sure my favorite! I seriously LOVE and put all my energy, sweat and tears into taking care of you, being a Godly wife to your daddy, and taking care of the home that he provides for us. I love cleaning, doing laundry, bathing you, dressing you, changing you and teaching you. I have read books and books on being a Godly mommy, and being the best mommy I can be with Gods help. I also am so very thankful for the awesome women God has placed in my life who gently encourage me and help me along the way. You can do all the reading in the world, but sometimes I very much appreciate some ideas from other mommies who have gone before. It's one thing to encourage and be helpful in love, but it's another to be bitter and toxic. Sometimes mommies have to endure some really rude comments from people who have no idea what the mom believe and how they parent. You are my most important priority along with my devotion to God first and your daddy. It hurts me a lot and cuts super deep when people make impulsive judgments and say things they may not even mean to be rude or hurtful. No good mom would ever do anything to harm their babies, and you could always assume that a good mom has reasons for doing what she is doing. I think since I take it so seriously and put so much good energy into the way a take care of you, when people are insensitive it REALLY affects me :( My skin is not that thick! hahahahahaha. I can laugh about it now because I've already spent some time crying in your daddy's arms!!! I cried and cried, and was so crushed. Your daddy took good care of me. He held me, wiped my tears, and told me he loved me, that I'm an incredible mother, wife, and friend. He told me you and him are blessed to have me. (Smiling ear to ear right now). He reassured me that sometimes people are just unaware of how they can come off to others. He said that my few things I've had to deal with were probably not meant to crush me like they did. Haha. He's right. I was able to look back and realize some impulsive assumptions I've made in my life about situations, or other people. I asked God for forgiveness right then, and asked for him to help me forgive as well. I learned so much! I also think it was an experience I had to go through in order to learn humility (which can be a daily struggle) and mature in my motherhood, and also be sensitive to other good mommies who are figuring stuff out. Man, we can be so quick to judge, and most of the time, it's our own insecurities that prompt us to cast unfair judgement on someone else. God is so good! Without God, my husband and my sweet hearted YOU, I would have become angry, bitter, and jaded in response to these bumps in my road. I love love love you... You are the best! I love being your mommy. i love learning and growing into this.
Lately you have been biting! Yikes! Ok, here's the thing, I find it a little funny. I laugh even though I know I shouldn't. But it's something new, and I get excited at EVERYTHING new you do. It's not a HUGE problem yet, although you do giggle when you do it, so I know you think it's playful. I didn't even get a chance to laugh at you yet, and you were giggling about biting me! So yes, we both started laughing. I do take your teeth off of me and insert a toy, or teething ring. We are working on teaching you to bite other things besides people to sooth your teething mouth. I admit, I'm no expert, but I think you will learn. When you bite while nursing, I do not laugh, and I tell you gentle but serious, not to bite mommy. "that's not nice Elijah, that hurts mommy" is what I say. :) Feels funny saying that to a 7 month old who can't talk, but you get the picture and have actually stopped doing it in that situation. Now to work on our play time biting situation ;) hahaha. You are just so tender hearted and do it out of playfulness, that it's hard to say no. But alas, I must teach you not to bite even in playfulness. You think you are so funny little guy! I think you are so funny too ;) You catch onto things super fast though, and I have faith that you and mommy will overcome this together. We are both learning here ;) Hehe... You are also starting to get brave and rock back and forth on your hands and knees. Still no crawling yet, but your getting closer every day. You roll around, and you just learned something new!!!!!!!!! Daddy taught you to play CATCH! We have it on video!!! You at 7 months throwing a ball to your daddy, and him throwing it to you. That was the exciting thing from yesterday :) We love you baby!
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