Dear Elijah,
Every day is so new. Step by step I’m learning how to be a woman of faith, a wife and a mom. I’m learning how to be a good friend, and also stay true to what I believe. Oh gosh Elijah, sometimes it can be a little intimidating to be a mommy. I feel motherhood slowly becoming more and more intimidating. Not in a bad way at all, but in a pushing me to be stronger way. You are not always going to be a baby, and you are growing day by day and depending on your dad and I. I know we are not alone by any means, so that helps. We have a relationship with the ultimate father/parent that will prompt us to make wise decisions concerning you and other things. I wonder if any other moms ever feel that quick, passing feeling of, “Yikes!!!” Hahaha… I do. As much as I read, pray or feel educated on parenting, I sometimes ask the question “am I doing the right thing here?” You are getting to that age where you are showing signs of stubbornness, and strong will, and I know that there are ways to nurture those things in you and shape them so that they are not out of control or naughty. I’m just learning how to do that right now. No matter how many babies I’ve been around, I’ve never raised my own before, and I of course want to do everything right! Hahahaha, I know that is impossible seeing as how I am not perfect, but I at least want to know, and want you to know that I gave it my best shot! Right now, as of late, you have been throwing real live fits, tantrums if you will… You make your voice reach a level that can pierce through an ear drum. Although I find you adorable in any situation, this tantrum throwing, although quite normal and natural for your age, has got me thrown for a loop! I know how I am supposed to deal with your fits, but it’s hard to do. I do not like to hear you sad or upset, but I also do not want to give in to or feed that kind of behavior. If it were up to me, I would hold and coddle you all the time, but me thinks that makes for a spoiled child. ;) I enjoy learning how to be a loving mommy, and I enjoy the encouragement I get from your daddy and others around me. I’m telling you Elijah, being a mom is like the best role in the entire world. Well that’s how I feel about it anyway. Even when you are difficult, you are loveable… Even when you are screaming, you are loveable… Even when we are both tired, and just need a nap and are cranky… We are loveable!
Other things that are going on with you right now are, rocking back and forth on your hands and knees, lots more talking baby talk, becoming way more aware of what things are around you, and who is around you, and you are wanting to stand ALL THE TIME! You are so strong, and so determined to move. You do not give up, and you are constantly trying new things and new moevements. You are so sweet, and for the most part except for the occasional tantrum, you are a very mellow, go with the flow kind of baby. We have always been able to bring you around everywhere with us, and you enjoy it! You are a pleasure in the store, and you are a pleasure in Starbucks even when you are throwing napkins on the floor and spilling drinks. Hahaha. You stay quiet still in church which is pretty amazing. We have yet to take you to the nursery. You give out an occasional laugh or sound, but for the most part you stay quiet while pastor Nathan is preaching :) I love our church and how kid friendly it is. That really makes us feel good.
We got our first Christmas tree yesterday, and then decorated it last night after going to buy some ornaments :) I can’t even tell you how excited I was the entire day! I was jumping up and down, making crazy faces, screaming to your daddy, “It’s our fiiiiiiiiiiirst Christmas TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!” I kept saying, “Aren’t you excited? I mean Isn’t this the best time ever!!! Trees!!!” He was excited, but was not showing his excitement enough I thought. So I called him a scrooge… To which he replied, “Bah humbug!” heehee… He was excited, but to prove that he was just as excited as I was, he took us to Target and bought us red shirts to go to the Christmas tree lot in! Hahahahahaha… He’s funny! He thought it would show me that he was too in the Christmas spirit. Proving a point with a Christmas shirt??? SURE!!! I’ll take it! When we walked into the lot, all three of us were dressed in RED! We looked like the dweebiest family EVER! We proudly strutted our red clothes and walked into the sea of Christmas trees all of which you grabbed… You were grabbing trees left and right and squiling with excitement! You are definitely my baby! The funniest thing was that since Mike was wearing a red shirt, and was super into finding us the perfect tree, everyone thought he worked there and kept asking him questions! Hahahahahaha… I laughed so hard every time because it was hilarious. He would always look so confused as to why people were asking him how much trees were and if he could grab a tree for them and cut it open. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Then they would look over at you and I and get embarrassed realizing that we were all together… The family in Red… I took mounds of pictures, as I always do, and we found our perfect tree! We were standing in line with the biggest smiles on our faces, all three of us! I take so many pictures of everything we do because I always want to be able to look back at these precious moments and never forget them! I get a lot of joy from taking pictures! I think the camera is amazing, and such a cool way to remember things. I have an amazing memory, but I know someday that won’t always be the case, and I want you to be able to have snap shots of all the awesome times we have had as a family. I am by no means a professional photographer, but I love taking pictures, and I love photography! I love the art in it, and the idea of it. I enjoy capturing hard to capture moments and expressions. You know what’s funny is that your uncle, aunt and I have no videos of when we were little, and I still have no idea what I looked like as a new born baby. It’s because my pictures were lost, and my mom did not have a video camera. Maybe that’s why I’m so into videos and pictures. Hahahaha, or just because you are too cute to not take a trillion pictures of ;)
I love you my little fickle friend. That’s what I call you sometimes for fun. Babies can go from smiling to crying pretty fast, so I call you my fickle friend. Kind of how mommy was when she was pregnant of you! Hahaha… I hope you wake up from your nap soon, cuz I miss ya :)
watching Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer
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