Sunday, April 1, 2012

Strong Willed Blessing...

Dearest Elijah James,
You mean so much to me. Lately you have been acting different, and showing me new challenges. I am so pleased to say that I actually appreciate this new season. You have been testing us more and more, which includes screaming, fits, running away from us, and all that fun stuff ;) I have to say that for a few days this was bothering me and I was at a loss on how exactly to tackle this. I didn't know how to show you what was positive behavior and what was not. You are not even 1 year old yet, and you are already walking, exploring, and trying to figure out your boundaries. It's harder right now because you can't talk, and do not know how to communicate what you want to us. All you know is that if you scream, we react. So why wouldn't you scream? You learned that by trying it out, and it sort of got you eventually to what you thought you wanted. Here is the difficulty. We are learning too! Hahaha... The contrast to this is that you are the sweetest, most tender hearted baby boy! You always want to show us love, kiss and hug, and snuggle. You are always worried if we are hurt, and always smile at us to let us know you are happy! You love to look us right in the eyes and smile. If we aren't looking at you, you will run up into our face just to smile, and then you go on with whatever you were doing. You are very cautious as well. It takes you a long time to warm up to other people. At first I was a bit tense with this because I didn't want people to think you didn't like them, but now I am actually touched by it. It shows me that you feel safe with mommy and daddy, and little by little on your own time, you eventually let others hold you or play with you. I've grown to really adore that about you. You are so cute and timid at first in front of others, but I get to see the crazy, loud, run around the house laughing Elijah that I love so dearly. You have sides only shown to mommy and daddy, and I treasure those fun moments we all get to share together. You like to share, I have never once seen you take something from another baby, or scream at another baby around you. You usually just give what you have to other little ones who take it from you. You have not yet entered the stage of "mine!" but are more hurt by us taking something from you. You get sad, and start to cry, but you don't fight to get it back. So, here we are, a walking, eager, curious not yet 1 year old trying to test the boundaries. At first the issue was trying to remain consistent. I was actually slacking on this because I had other factors. Since we live with your grandparents right now, it was hard for me to let you cry when you needed to. There are times when I believe it's necessary to let you cry it out. For instance when you are repeatedly trying to do something you are not supposed to be doing, and I am repeatedly having to remove you from the place you so desperately want to be, like, the toilet, or the trash can. hahaAaaaaah, so sweet and innocent you are! I love you more than words could EVER express.

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