Nice break away!

Dear Elijah,
This past weekend we drove out to the desert with "gramps" (haha) and Grandma Holland to meet up with your uncle Jimmy, auntie Tiff, and your cousins! They rented a house with a pool and invited us to come out for the weekend and swim with them. It was a really nice break away for our little family, and so fun. Your daddy and I have been dying to swim, and we also wanted to see how you would like the pool :) You had never been in one till this past weekend. You LOVE bath time, but I don;t know if you were the biggest fan of the "huge bath tub" haha... You actually didn't mind it at times and were ok with your feet splashing around, but then you would become unsure about it and cry a little. You were alright, then you were not. Haha... But you did great for your first time. I think for now we may just have to stick with warmer baths and try again later :) It was very cute to see you in a bathing suit though. You looked super cute! You had a lot of fun watching your cousins play in the pool, and spending time with your grandparents. We stayed in a hotel, and your daddy and I had so much fun playing in the pool while grandma and grandpa watched you. We hit a ball back and forth 32 times without dropping it! That was our highest score, it was a small ball... All in all it was a nice, short get away for a couple days :)
Oh, and you are officially grabbing your own feet! You did it a lot on this trip, and are so cute when you do it. You can actually hold onto them for a while now. You are making more sounds now that are starting to sound more like a baby conversation. Hahaha. I wish I could speak your language, I do try ;) You are laying next to me right now just laughing and smiling. Every time I glance down at you, you smile really big and squeal! I LOVE IT! Mommy made you banana-carrot yummies tonight and you liked it! I have to say, your daddy and I liked it to! Banana and carrot blended together are quite delicious!
The reason I wrote "gramps" above is because I thought it was hilarious that your cousin Katelynne called your grandpa Holland that yesterday.
Earlier this evening your dad and I went to the grocery store, but I was sooooooooooooooooooo tired after the car ride home from the desert. I still went to the store with you and your dad because I wanted to be able to make some dinner tonight. I grabbed a bunch of groceries and headed to our front door. I always get so frustrated with our front door because the key never goes right in. You have to stand there for a while trying to get the key to work. Uhg... So that was happening while I was trying to hold all these heavy groceries, when finally a bag slipped from my grip and landed on the floor! This would have been fine had it been the cereal boxes, or the vegetables... or even the bread... But no, it was the one bag with the glass jar of pickles... PICKLES!!! Pickles... So, I did what any woman in my condition would do. I dropped all the groceries, kicked the door open, and fell on the couch with a blanket over my face saying, "I hate our stupid door, it's so stupid, and so lame! the pickles are ruined!!!" Your daddy and you followed behind looking troubled. Your dad cleaned it up and told me he would get me more pickles... He said it was going to be alright, that he would run out right then and get another jar. I thought the whole thing was funny after that, and didn't let him go back. So yes, this is currently a pickle free zone, but who needs pickles when I've got my boys around :) Love you!

My experience :)

Dear Elijah,
First of all, you went to the Long Beach aquarium 2 days ago, and LOVED it! I loved watching you look at all the fish and sea creatures. I have to say, I didn't think you were quite ready to be interested, but I was wrong, and you had a great time. Aunt Cindy and uncle John came in from Bakersfield with two extra tickets to go, so aunt Teresa and I tagged along. It was fun, and I got you a little stuffed animal (sharkey) to have as a souvenir :)

Last night you slept through the WHOLE night. I was so surprised! I don't expect you to do that yet at all, but it was a nice treat to sleep through the night for all of us. We woke up missing you though, and not much longer after your dad and I woke up, you joined us. You could tell we missed you because when you woke up, we were soooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited and asked you why you didn't say hello to us in the middle of the night? Hahahahaha Sooooo, did you miss us? We really appreciated the uninterrupted sleep, but we did miss you ;) You were all smiles when you finally did wake up! Ah, so cute!

Ok so it's time to get real here for a second. These letters are just for you Elijah, and I am so glad that I started doing these because it's not only letters to my baby boy, but a motherhood diary for me! I have already appreciated going back a reading some of these, and it reminds me of what things were like and the feelings I was having at certain moments. So I have to be honest with you and say... You ARE SO EASY!!! haha... Ok, yes, motherhood can be challenging, and tiring, BUT it never ever outweighs the fun, the joys, and the excitement of it all. MY experience with YOU, has been unexpectedly breezy. I could try to analyze it all day long, but the simple truth is that I have had a blast taking care of, and loving you! I struggle with fears, and different things like that. I worry... I pray, pray, pray!!! Let me tell you, prayer, and God's grace has been the rock that I stand on, and because of that, we are having so much fun! I know there are many challenges to come, but they are welcomed. I know you are going to probably knock me on my butt some days, but with God's grace I'll get back up. :) I love you my little man! The funny thing is that people are always coming up to us saying "JUST WAIT..." or "YOU BETTER ENJOY THIS TIME BECAUSE IT ONLY GETS HARDER." That makes me so sad! It's like Jeeze, can you please LET me enjoy my baby and not be such a downer. Thanks! I am usually nice to these people and just smile, and don't want to be rude, but it gets to me at times. I think we all know how challenging it can be, but for goodness sake, let me be. I'm having a blast!  We hear so many negative things out and about. People trying to be funny I guess. Hahaha. Then you get the breath of fresh air with those rare, sweet people who say things like... "Isn't it great?" or "Aren't you guys just having the best time? I miss those days :)" Refreshing... I love those people. Or the ones who have had a hard time but are still so positive, "Oh man, no sleep, diapers galore, but I wouldn't trade it" or "It was so hard for us but it's different for everyone." I don't mind that at all. In fact it's always encouraging to hear a mother's difficulties, and how she came through it. There are so many women who are brutally honest about there experiences even when they were horrible! I appreciate the honesty. I seriously get it. We just happen to have you Elijah, and you have not yet pushed us to our breaking points. It's sort of a catch 22 for people anyway which is why I am nice to them. Hahahaha. Because the comments that we appreciate hearing might not be what other parents want to hear when they are barely hanging on. :) We always joke that if you have another brother or sister, they are going to show us what up! They are going to have us on our knees begging for help! Hahahaha... We are pretty spoiled by you. It's fun to have this experience, and then if we have another child, it's going to be fun to have a whole other experience. I mean, I'm sure you and your siblings would appreciate the differences between your letters... One reads, Oh what a wonderful day prancing through the meadows with the baby sleeping in my arms... While the other reads... Help! Hahahahahaha... Oh my gosh, Elijah... Your fits are hilarious! Yes, my 4 month old throws fits. You will scream at me sometimes if I move you, or if you want something. The first fit I saw you throw, I just took a step back and watched you kick your feet, whine, and turn red in the face. I picked you up after realizing what I was witnessing was your first fit. That was at 3 months! Hahahaha. Here are some things that help me keep my chin up. 1) When you spit up on me for the 4th time in a row, no joke... I laugh. Yes, barf all over my shirt, pants, and inside my shoe! I laugh because when I look at you afterward, you are laughing at me! You think it's so funny! Or you just feel really good after getting it out, so you smile huge, and laugh! Makes me feel better every time. We were meeting with our banker yesterday and you seriously threw up on me 4 times during the meeting. And it did go in my shoe that time. The 4th time, I looked up at your daddy with a straight face, and the banker gave me the box of tissues at his desk and said "here, you need these more than I do." I took that opportunity to laugh. Throw my hands up in the air and surrender to motherhood. Hahahahaha... 2) When you freak out, and are seemingly crying for no reason (which is more and more recently), I try to appreciate your situation. You need me. Plane and simple. You can't do things for yourself, so I try to understand how frustrating that might get for you at times. :(  3) here... hahaha. that's it! Here daddy :) before I get to that point. I have the luxury of having your daddy be home more, and let me tell you, your daddy is so good with you. He has opened arms for you my love. All the time! 4) I don't take myself to seriously because most likely during the day you will find a way to humble me. Like when you pooped on my stomach the other day. Humbled... Or when you spit up down my shirt. Humbled... Or the time you kicked me in the eye ball. Ouch... And that time you peed on the wall... Thanks a lot... Hahahaha.  That's it :) Those are the things that help me with you Eli. I try to laugh my way through. And yes, I have cried my way too! Especially when I was pregnant, and you were a week late. I broke down. I cried, and didn't think I could go another day! But I did. God made me. Hahahaha.

I have pictures of you at the aquarium! Hopefully I will be able to post them, but my email is not working right now. If they never end up on here, just ask me about them, and I'll show you :) Love you!

Oh!!! and thank you for the birthday present! I love it. Your daddy, grandparents and you really know how to surprise me! :) I love my pink bike that I hope to someday bike ride with you :)

Oh!!! and how could I forget... You ate a banana for the first time 2 days ago!

That's you eating banana for the first time! All blended up!

Oh baby!

Dear Elijah,
These are exciting times my boy... You are pretty much doing all these new things right before my eyes. I notice every little thing that is new that you do! Probably because I hardly ever take my eyes off of you ;) heehee. You have been gaining so much more control in your arms and hands, you hold up your head so good now, and you are being held like a big boy. You have a lot more personality, and you definitely know what you like and what you don't like. You let out a scream, or a laugh!!! YES, I SAID LAUGH!!! It's been slowly sneaking up on us. You would give a little chuckle here and a squeal there... But now, as of two days ago, I can MAKE you laugh by tickling your neck, or playing peek a boo!!! Wooohooooooo! You finally think we are funny enough to laugh! Makes me cry happy tears when I hear your cute laugh. It's the best! We have been going like EVERY Saturday and Sunday Open House Hunting! It's our newest hobby ;) Super fun, and we love seeing all these amazing homes that are tucked away in San Pedro. Your daddy and I grew up in San Pedro, and we still find ourselves in neighborhoods we never knew existed! And these crazy HUGE mansions in the middle of a normal neighborhood. It's really cool, and you are with us when we go on these excursions! All the agents think you're so cute ;)
So the other day I asked your dad, "so.... should I take him to go get professional pictures done? Isn't that what we are supposed to do?" Hahaha... He said, "NO! You take such great pictures, we will never need to go elswhere, you can just take them!" I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo flattered. Your daddy thinks I can do anything, but I wasn't sure that I could capture your cuteness and didn't know if you would hold still, blah blah blah... So we decided to do a "photo session" with you and your daddy said he would help me!So I set up our living room like a little studio :) and I would tell your daddy how to place you in the picture, and you were soooooooooooooooooooooo good. You usually clam up when a camera comes out, and make the most serious faces when you see one. But for this session, you were just in your own little world, and I love how the pictures came out!
Mommy has to always keep a good eye on you, because you picked up this new habit of grabbing any piece of material around you, and pulling it over your face! You LOVE doing this, and it's actually really funny! you pull your blankets over your face and look so cozy, until mommy has to come pull them off. haha to cute.

Pure Joy!!!

Dear Elijah,

Hey you! Ok, so I have become one of those people... One of those mommy's... One of the most proud, joyful, happy, parents EVER!!! I never thought that I would be this crazy about something in my life! You have taken over my facebook page, and it basically belongs to you now :) It's so hard not to go posting pictures of you everywhere because I truly can't take it all in myself. Thank Jesus for family and friends to share in this joy with me! I light up when people delight in you, because I LOVE you so much and now feel so much love for other peoples kids as well. I know how it feels to love your baby so much, that you want every baby in the world to feel loved at all times! Speaking of babies, you happen to be related to theeeeeee cutest babies! You just spent some time with cute little Stephen who is just a doll and such a joy to be around. Then yesterday I was thinking of my cousin Cathe, so I texted her and got a sweet surprise! I was sent the cutest picture of your little cousin Gavin! He is just beautiful! Then there is your cousin Hannah who is still a baby going on two years! Babies, babies babies! I love em! You are so sweet Elijah. I'm loving this time with you 3 months old, and into your 4th month! I enjoy just watching you, and listening to you, and smelling you and playing with you, and holding you!!! Ahhh, it's the best! I love hearing when mommies enjoy their babies, and so it's very encouraging hearing my cousin say that Gavin brings them so much joy. Also, to hear your daddy's cousin say that she loves being a mommy, and to see her love for him in her eyes. It's so encouraging to see your Auntie Tiff with her three girls, and how she enjoys them so much. It's also nice to see how much your cousin Nic is loved by your Auntie Jess, and Uncle C.J. I'm surrounded by great parents and sweet babies, and wonderful kids. Taking it in, just taking it in. I know I will love you at every stage, but I love being able to soak in this baby stage right now ;) Someday I will be writing about how much I love my little kindergartner, or 2nd grader! EEEEEEeeeeeks... One day at a time! Hahahaha. I love you baby boy. Gosh your cute :)

tonight is the last night of Vacation Bible School :)

You and I have had fun hanging out watching everyone participate :)

not really your first V.B.S. yet since you can't participate, but your first time being around for one :)

Family love and fun mornings!

Dear Elijah,
Hey there baby boy! You are sleeping right next to me right now. Last night I was rocking you to sleep because you were so tired that you became restless and cranky. I finally got you to drift off to a peaceful sleep and then your dad, A.K.A. the big bad wolf, sneezed sooooooooooooooooooo loud it scared you awake! You started crying again, and I gave your daddy "the look" hahahaha. Your daddy felt so bad, but you ended up going to sleep about 20 minutes after, so it all worked out :)
You have been making these crazy sounds. Soooooooooooooooooooooo cute! You sit in your play mat and you make these like, playful, high pitch screaming sounds. I can't really call them squeals anymore. It is the funniest thing to watch you do. You try to grab thing now, and can usually hold onto them for a while before you ether let them drop or fling them down. You like your little blue bee to chew on, but you can't hold it to your mouth for than long. You also like to suck on these squishy letters at your grandma Hollands house :)
This morning you took a bath and I seriously laughed the whole time! I basically hold your head out of the water while you splash splash splash! You LOVE bath time and would stay in there forever if we let you ;) I call you my little fishy because you would go swimming if mommy let you. You look like you are just waiting to be able to swim on your own! Hahahahaha... Sooooooooooooooo, this morning your mommy was out of luck or something because I got hurt a lot. I put you in your play mat so you could pay with your toys and kick around, and then decided to get some cuddle time in with your daddy before he had to leave for work. We were hanging out on our bed, and he went to kiss mommy but somehow poked me in the eye ball with his spiky chin!!! OUCH! It really hurt, but I could help but laugh. I hate that, because I want him to know that he hurt me, but it's to funny not to laugh! Uhg!!! Hahahahaha, he was laughing so hard as if it was the funniest thing he had ever seen :/ Maybe when you are a little bigger we can gang up on daddy! Are you with me!!!? Hahaha. Then, I left the room to check on you really quick because when your a mom all of the sudden you think that books, picture frames, and couches can fly and somehow make it to your baby who is in the middle of the room :/ (can't help it). haha...  You were fine, so I ran back into our bedroom and was going to jump on daddy because he was laying on his stomach and wouldn't have seen it coming (muahahaha), but little did I know he was about to get up and readjust... :/ SMACK! He almost knocked the wind out of me!Hahahaha, I rolled to the side, and was laugh/crying but I lived... Then I heard you let out a little cry so we looked at each other and your dad says, "I'll get him!" and I said... "No, I'll get him!" The race began!!! We both wanted to hold you and were about to race down the hall for you. WELL, YOUR DAD, took a cheap shot and tried to pull the bedroom door shut and it slammed into my entire thigh!!! RUDE! hahahahahahahaha... It hurt, but once again I was on the floor laughing. He felt bad... But in the end, I got to hold you!!! Victory! Hahahaha... We love you...
Well, this last week your cousins Missy and Stephen were in town! It was so much fun seeing them and getting to hang out with them. He is such a cutie, and you guys exchanged a few words (high pitch screams) with each other. He tried to take your socks off, and wanted to touch your face a lot. Hahaha, but you just wanted to stare at him. The both of you are so cute though, and it was nice to see you interact with another baby. You guys are only like 6 months apart. :) We hope to see them again soon! Have a safe strip back to Oregon :)

Also, this last Sunday we celebrated pop's birthday! He is your very sweet great grandpa ;) That was super fun, and always very cool seeing everyone. Then last night was V.B.S. at our church and since your daddy is helping with it, you and I tagged along to walk around and see all the fun going on! It was so cool Elijah, and I can;t wait till you can participate :) Your daddy was up on stage dancing like a crazy man, and what was funny is he was doing the dance that makes you and I laugh ans smile at home. Hahahahaha, it sure worked on all the kids there too ;) Good thing you are too young to be embarrassed ;) hahaha. We got to stand in the back at the end of V.B.S. and listen to the songs, see daddy shoot panda bears across the room, and watch all the kids dancing around. It was awesome.
Oh, and yesterday at work your daddy text me a picture of the cutest cup!  It was a cup with your name on it! It is so cute and I can't wait till you can start using it ;) It is from a very nice guy names Ben! He saw it and got it for you, and seriously blessed my heart! I thought it was so sweet that he did that for you.
Well, I better go now my love. You just woke up and I have to scoop you up and kiss you!

big boy trying to sit up :)

eating your blue bee :)

You, pop, and cousin Stephen

small prayers and 4th of July...

Dear Elijah, 

I want to start with a prayer for you:

Dear God, I thank you so much for this day, and another day with my baby Eli. Thank you so much for such a precious and priceless gift. Thank you for choosing Michael and I to be Elijah's parents and please give us the strength and wisdom to raise him up to be a godly man. We ask for your mercy, grace and encouragement along the way, and that Elijah's faith will be nurtured by the singing of your praises and the mention of your name. I love you so much, and I am so humbled by your greatness. You are so good, and we praise you for all that you are. We are so blessed by you, and seriously can not fully understand all the love you have shown this family. Your love surrounds us, and you are so faithful. I pray that we as a family could remain faithful to you. Thank you for my husband, baby boy, friends and family. In Jesus name, Amen.

Hey baby boy! well let's see... We had a super great 4th of July! First we met up with Nina, Uncle C.J., Uncle Oscar, Auntie Erica, and Erica's parents! We ate lunch with them, and got to visit for a while. Then you, your daddy and I headed up to your daddy's families place to visit with your grandma and grandpa Holland, and grandma's family. It's always fun spending time with family ;) and it's nice to be able to get to know your grandma Hollands aunts and cousins, they are very sweet. Your great grandma Darleen was there too! After that, us 3 headed to Denny's for a chocolate shake! Yummo! It was so nice on a hot day ;) Then we went home to pack and headed over to your grandma and grandpa Hollands house for a fun evening. We were planning on staying the night there because our apartment was super loud the following night with cherry bombs going off right outside our windows. The loud sounds were scaring you, and jolting you awake, so we thought it might be a little better at your grandparents house ;) Plus, we like hanging out with them! The cool thing was, we got a sweet surprise when your uncle Jimmy called and said that him, auntie Tiff and the girls were coming over too! It was a perfect 1st 4th for us as a new family, and it was so fun to watch your cousins get so excited over the fireworks. Such a fun night! We spent the night, and you slept very well ;) 

These days you are noticing your limbs a lot more. Hahahahahahaha, and it's so funny to watch! You will stare are your arm with an expression like, "is that connected to me?" It's so cute! I caught you staring intensely at your toes yesterday for quite a while; laughed and told your daddy to look. This morning you were waving your arms around, stopped and looked very interested in your wrist. You have been making the funniest sounds simply because you can! Hahahahaha. You make this very funny sounding scream, and shock yourself when you do it... Hahahaha... I call you my little fickle friend because you will go from happy to sad in a split second! For example... You were sitting quietly and sweet in your sleeper, and I asked you if you were getting hungry... You looked at me and lost it! You started to cry so hard, and I could not help but chuckle... Then your daddy was walking by your sleeper and saw that you were being so happy and sweet, so he leaned over and said, "hey handsome guy," and you stuck out your bottom lip, and started crying so hard! It really if so crazy to watch. I sit there sometimes with a shocked look on my face saying to your daddy, "oh my gosh, he is so funny! I mean, he was just so happy and now he is throwing the biggest fit EVER!" Honey... Elijah... You can throw a fit at 3 months old... It's true. I set you down for a second, just like 3 seconds while I grabbed something, and you kicked out your legs, kicked out your arms, and started screaming at the top of your lungs and turned red! I picked you up right away, and you stopped and were totally fine! OMGosh!!!!! You know what you want, and when you want it! Hahahahaha... Daddy say's you take after mommy in that way, but I don't know... Haha... 

Yesterday we had a fun day with your uncle Jake! I picked him up and we headed to the park above friendship park. It's an open area with s great view of the harbor and the ocean! Also, it has a nice breeze. So me and uncle Jake set up our little beach tent (which took us forever because we just couldn't get it right) and we all three sat in there and played and talked. It was soooooooooooooooo relaxing, and you LOVE being outside and feeling a nice breeze on your face ;) You were so happy just kicking around, and smiling at your uncle Jake. Then the three of us went to starbucks and visited there for a while. I took pictures of you guys, and let me tell you, you both are such handsome guys ;) Ok, well, I love you very much sweet buns!

 

Hike up and up and up!

Dear Elijah,
Well, you are still the cutest baby ever! Still have me wrapped around that little tiny finger of yours, and are still my best baby boo. Today after church, I went to change you in the mommy's room, and you made a mess! I somehow had to change you, clean you, and tell your daddy to bring me the diaper bag so that I could put new clothes on you. So after cleaning you up and putting your new diaper on, I opened the door to the sanctuary and yelled at your dad that you "pooped all over the place!" Hahahahaha, I didn't mean to yell it so loud seeing as how there were still a few people left in the church who now all knew our situation. But your daddy was so overtaken by the CUTE sight of you in just a diaper, that all he did was stare at us adoringly. So I stood there with a half naked baby in my arms waiting for your daddy to get a clue and hand me your clothes! Hahahaha... I finally had to get your daddy on my same page, and we got you an your new outfit and all was well again. After that we went to Cocos where your daddy and I ate, and then had some strawberry cheesecake! Yummmmo! You were so good, just sitting there with us taking in the scenery. SUCH and sweet boy you are. Then we decided after that pie we should probably get some exercise! so we took you down to the ocean coast and were walking when we saw a sign for an open house! We LOVE looking at houses and getting an idea of what we will want someday. It's so fun to see how people add on to houses or remodel. We usually go to any open house we see because it's actually really cool to see some of these houses in San Pedro, and we find ourselves in neighborhoods we never knew existed! So today we followed the sign all the way up, and up, and upppppppppppp! We had no idea how far it would be, and it was all up hill. we were so hot and sweaty once we got to the house, and I mumbled to your daddy, this house better be worth it! Hahaha. We got inside and walked around, and it was super cute, and a great view of the ocean of course. I didn't like it for me personally, but appreciated the structure. We ended up talking to the real estate agent who was so nice and she asked us what your name was. We told her you were Elijah, and she paused with a huge smile, and said, "Oh my gosh, are you guys Christians?" We said "yes we are," and she said, well there you go, that's the light I saw in your guys. Then she told us we were a fun couple and you were very blessed, and are going to have lots of fun with us... You hear that Elijah, mommy and daddy are FUN! Always remember that... Hahahahaha. She could not believe we walked all the way up the hills from where we started and could not stop laughing. She gave us water, and then asked if she could pray for us since we will eventually be buying a house, and she said to just keep praying and God will someday help us find a good place for our family. She prayed for us, and asked for God to bless us. It was so refreshing, and so cool that we for some reason didn't turn around and go back because the house was to far. I remember the moment I thought about telling your dad, no way, lets just go back to flat land! Hahaha, but for some reason I got a burst of energy to keep going and we received a prayer and blessing! So cool!!! I thought it was amazing that we decided to go see a house we know we would never buy, and there was really no good reason to be there, and God loves us so much that he had a blessing waiting there for us! (INTERUPTION) your dad just walked into the room with you in his arms saying, "he is content just pretending to eat..." Basically you don't want to be put down, and just want to be held right now, so you are pretending to drink a bottle so that your daddy will just hold you. Hahahaha, smart baby you are... You are my son! I always want your daddy's attention too ;) He has nice cozy arms, I mean who wouldn't pretend to eat if they could set up camp in those arms??? Heehee ;) Your daddy is currently telling you... "I bet Lydia eats all her food... I bet your cousin Gavin eats all his food..." Hahahahahaha Tell him your not hungry and you eat just fine! You just merely want the bottle in your mouth for comfort! Hahahaha. Oh my crazy family. I love you guys ;)
We ended up walking to your great grandpa's house and visiting with your daddy's cousin Jodi, her husband Steve and Pop. It was really fun, and they are all so nice. Jodi gave your daddy a book that she used to read to him when he was little, and she was babysitting. Now daddy can read it to you! It was is favorite book he says, and is called "Miami Mice." To cute!

There you are with daddy's cousin Jodi

There you are with Jodi and your great grandpa! "pop"