We Serve a Gracious God. A Personal God.

Dear Elijah,

Tonight I was sitting in our living room and saw a picture on the internet that tore my heart out. You had already been put to bed, and were nice and warm with a full tummy and sleeping so peacefully. Everything in my world was so good I realized. I can feed my precious baby, who I love so so so unbelievably much. I can put clothes on you when you are cold, and give you something to drink when you are thirsty. These things that I just mentioned mean so much to me as a mother, and my first priority right now is you. Taking care of you, nurturing you, loving you, and giving you the things you need. I pray for you EVERY SINGLE DAY, night, morning, noon, like all the time!

The picture that I saw, made my heart break, but not only that, it made my chest burn inside. I could not hold this emotion in, and I felt like throwing up all of a sudden.  My heart was/is so heavy Elijah. It’s heavy for all the babies I can’t take care of. All the babies I can’t show love to, and all the babies who are starving for food, love and attention. It kills me… Just kills me inside…  I have this thing inside of me that turns on, and when it does, it weighs me down in a way. But moreover, it makes me want to do something; anything, to help. If you were ever in need Elijah, I pray to God that someone would reach out to you. I need to have that same wish for other babies/children on our world as well.

I looked at your dad and said… “Babe, I feel sick… I can’t shake this heaviness and my chest feels like it’s burning.” He asked me why, and thought I was maybe getting a cold. I answered, “no babe, all I could think about is our precious baby boy in there, and if I couldn’t feed him I would want to die.” He then told me what has been on his heart, and I shared my ideas and what has been on mine. He has a heart for a ministry called, Hope For the Hungry, and I want to sponsor a baby/child through World Vision. I had been thinking of ideas, and trying to figure out ways we could do this, but also try to reach further out. So far my ideas are simple, but effective I believe. We are going to cancel Net Flix. That’s 9 dollars a month that can go to help feed and clothe a baby/child/family, and some other things we feel called to let go of. So far that’s like 40 dollars a month we can use for sponsoring a precious child of God!!! I’m so excited God gave me these ideas. He is so good, and I am amazed by His power every day. God has richly blessed this family Eli, and now we need to reach out and extend his blessings to others. And you know sometimes it's not even about letting go of things, but giving regaurdless, trusting that God will provide. Every person has a different calling, and I don't believe that if one person is doing one thing, you have to do that exact same thing. God speaks to us all individually. Sometimes passions and ideas unite, and other times yours may be different. Oh, a good example is fasting. Sometimes God will call one person to fast with food. But other times he may ask them to fast with time, or T.V, or dare I say... Starbucks! Hehe ;)

 The weight was lifted at least a little bit, and at least I know that God is working. I’m proof that God really does speak to people, and touch the hearts of people who can help other people who are suffering. God just needs us to respond! It’s like, “light bulb moment” for me. He is helping those families through all kinds of avenues. I just hope and pray that my small changes and donations will make a huge difference in someone’s life.  I’m writing to you about this moment Elijah because I think it’s important for you to know and be aware of the world around you. I want you also to let God speak to your heart and make changes through you no matter how big or small. I want you to be led by the Holy Spirit to do things in God’s name. Know how important listening to God is, and how your obedients can effect so much more than you.

The other night I was lying in bed and God was not letting me go to sleep quite yet. I felt Him tell me to pray for a baby. I had no idea who this baby was! I felt God lead the prayer, and I said and prayed words that were pretty detailed. I still don’t know who I was praying for Eli, but when God can give you a prayer, pray it. I was blessed by a prayer he gave me for someone I will probably never meet or know their situation. I prayed that God would protect them that God would send someone to help them, and to save them from their misery. I prayed that they would be loved and nurtured, and shown the love of Christ. I prayed so many things, and it really got me to open my heart up for things I never imagined. I basically told God, “Our doors are open, we are ready and willing to serve you.” I have a renewed passion for things. God blessed me when all I was doing was praying for someone else. It’s seriously mind blowing. I see God’s grace and mercy Eli. We are hopeful. We have so much hope and faith in our God. He is stronger than poverty, and stronger than neglect.