WE SURRENDER...!!! hahaha

Dear Elijah,

Ok… OK!!! You win…… That’s how we felt last night. I’m sick with a cold, and your dad was just starting to feel sick last night, so he was hoping for a good night sleep. Little did we know, you had different plans. Lets rewind to the night before last for a minute shall we. The night before last you were in such pain from teething that you went into freak out mode. It’s like you were at a crossroads and you headed in full force to the hysterical zone. You were crying so hard, and not letting up. We were holding you, kissing you, rubbing your gums, giving you a cold teething ring, tried nursing you (totally uninterested), and walked the floors with you. This was the first time this has ever happened. This was happening when you would usually have been sleeping already. Now it was late, and you were overtired, which made you more irritable and upset. You would not go to sleep even though your eyelids were heavy, and your little body was exhausted. You were doing everything in your power to stay awake and it was so sad! I started crying for you since I knew you must have just been feeling miserable and the pain must have been terrible for you. I was crying, you were crying, and daddy finally broke down and grabbed the baby Tylenol. We try to avoid medicine as much as possible, especially since we do know that you can handle a good amount of discomfort. You never really need it after shots, and I don’t give it to you before your shots, and you recover just fine. You barely needed it when your first two teeth came in side by side on the bottom. Seriously, you must have been in a good amount of pain this night. We gave you the Tylenol, and although it took a while, you were able to calm down and finally go to sleep around 12:30 ish close to 1am! That night you woke up twice to eat, which is pretty good for you lately. You used to sleep through the night. You slept through the night for a long time, and all of a sudden about a month ago or so, you started waking up about 3 times a night to eat. You would go right back to sleep after eating though. Anyway, that was our night before last.

LAST NIGHT continued… You went to bed as you normally do around 10pm. Your daddy and I were talking in the living room, drinking hot tea, and snuggling. It was nice. Your dad says, we should go to bed now since we are both sick and need rest. We went to bed, and mommy of course could not sleep very good. So I do what I always do… I prayed. I was praying for the baby boy Ezequiel who we are going to be corresponding with from Nicaragua. I was finally drifting off to sleep, when I heard a cry on the baby monitor. You were waking up for your first snack. Haha… Your dad woke up from his SLEEP seeing as how it was about 2am, and I just sat up in bed waiting for him to bring you to me :) At this point I hadn’t gotten any real sleep. You came in all cute and hungry, and I fed you while playing with your little toes and running my fingers across for chubby cheeks as I normally do. Then when you were done, you usually fall into a deep sleep again, and daddy puts you back in your crib and comes back to bed. This did not happen last night. Daddy took you from my arms and walked you into your room. I usually hear nothing in the monitor, and your daddy climbs back into bed. This time I heard you start to cry when he put you down. He tried rubbing your head a little to help you drift back into sleep, but nothing was working. You were still crying. He came into our bedroom, and told me there was nothing he could do, and nothing seemed to work. I went into your room, and started rubbing your head, and talking in a quiet voice, and I wound up your little lamb that plays Jesus Loves Me. You were not wanting to be in that crib, and you would not go back to sleep. I have not idea even right now why you wouldn’t go back to sleep, when you usually have no problems. I held you for a while walking around your room, then decided… ”alright, I have to put him in his bed. He needs to learn that night time is sleep time.” So, I changed your clothes into something warmer, and put you in your crib. I tucked the sides of the blanket in so that you could not kick them off, and I made sure your room was a nice temperature. I kissed you on the head, told you I loved you, and grabbed daddy’s hand and headed to bed. We turned down the monitor so that we could still hear you, but not as loud. You cried… Then you stopped… Then you CRIIIIIIED! Then you stopped and I thought you had finally fallen asleep… Then you cried… A lot… Then you cried some more, and more and more… and we just could not take it anymore. On another night, we may have lasted longer and let you cry it  till you finally fell asleep, but we were both so tired last night being sick and all, that we caved! WE SURRENDER!!! You win!!! Daddy went and grabbed you out of your crib and put you in our bed. You smiled… and then fell asleep so fast. It’s like you knew! You knew you had gotten what you wanted, and I have to admit, it was pretty darn cute. You slept with mommy and daddy last night. And you didn’t wake up once after that. You slept and you even out slept both of us. Hahahahaha. Little stinker! Now we have to start from scratch. Yikes. Moment of weakness may have gotten us into trouble… I guess we shall see. But man, all three of us were sick and really needed the rest. Hopefully it’s really just what we all needed.  This is the first time you actually slept in bed with us! When you were sleeping in our room in your little sleeper before you moved into your own room, we used to put you in bed with us in the early morning right before your dad would get up and get ready for work. But last night was the first night EVER that you actually slept in our bed from night till morning. Crazy! Well, we love you little guy. We love you much ;)

Harvest Festivities...

Dear Elijah,

OH my goodness, what a weekend! We were a busy little family the past few days my love. Now that it’s all over, you and I are sick… I wish I had your energy though. You are bouncing around with your cough and runny nose, and I am wanting to crawl into bed and sleep for the nest 24 hours! My eyes feel like they are going to close without me even trying, and you are laughing and kicking me.  Oh to be young again. Hahahaha… Daddy got you a humidifier yesterday, and we put a space heater in your room. I also gave you a warm bath, and let you breath in steam from the hot water running after your bath. We also got you some baby saline nose drops. You should be just fine. The doctor says if you are eating good, still playful, and don’t have a fever, you will be just fine and have to let this stinky old cold run its course. I guess the same goes for mommy. I have to let this thing run until it dies. I hope I can get over it soon though!

This past Friday night you, your dad and I were planning on taking you to a really cool pumpkin patch with your cousin Nic, Uncle Oscar, Auntie Erica, and Uncle C.J. Turns out Nic was pretty sick that night especially, and since he was not feeling to good, we all decided not to go out that night to the pumpkin patch. We did however go to eat dinner together. It was nice hanging out with them first at their place, and then at the restaurant. Well, while we were there, you had an accident that leaked out of your diaper. Need I say more? Mommy and daddy had to change you in the car/parking lot of the place, and it was so hard to handle you since you had messy all over! There really is no good way to clean this mess, so your dad held you up as I carefully undressed you, and put a new diaper and new clothes on you. Seriously Elijah, it's harder than it sounds, and you have done this to me many times, but I don't think I've mastered one good way to clean you up. Hahahahaha. We always manage though. Oh, and ask your uncle Oscar for that footage someday. Yes... He sure did video tape that moment... hahahaha...

Saturday I spent the day preparing a thanksgiving dinner for your uncle C.J. and your cousin Nic so that they could spend a thanksgiving together. Your Uncle C.J. id going out to sea and is going to miss Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years! Pretty much everything! So I thought I could at least capture some sort of holiday for them to share before C.J. leaves. I invited a small group of family to our apartment, and it turned out great! You got to spend time with your god-parents too! You were so good letting mommy finish everything, and daddy was so great taking care of you for most of Saturday.

On Sunday you and I missed church in the morning while your daddy went off to play drums for both services. You and I were home resting up for the busy night we would have. We were both feeling a bit sick, and it was making us extra tired. I'm glad we got that time to rest together, and relax before heading to the church at 4pm to decorate and get everything prepared for the Harvest Festival. Mommy and her friend Stace, got the opportunity to plan the church's Harvest Festival, and we had so much fun doing it! We were blessed by how many people helped us, and really put in time and work to make it a success! Having said that, I probably won't be planning something that big for a while. It was sooooooooooooooooo fun, and something I really enjoy doing, but it's very hard to pull off with a young baby. You were so sweet about the whole thing, but I was getting worn out. I think my main focus is you right now, and I would love to volunteer to help someone else plan something in the near future, but since I have you, I'm not sure I can totally plan something like this till your a bit older ;) Heehee... When you are older though, just so you know, you will be my little helper! At the festival, you were feeling kind of sick, so although you made an appearance as a flying monkey, you spent most the night with your grandparents (Hollands). WHAT A HELP THEY WERE! We are so thankful for them and how they have been such a blessing to us in so many ways but especially in regards to you! I completely trust them in taking care of you, and it's so nice to have in-laws you can say that about. I mean, I grew up with my parents and so I automatically trust them, but now to have such wonderful in-laws as your grandparents is a really cool thing. I really hope that this Harvest Festival at Trinity will become a tradition. We had so much fun! Games, prizes, candy, cookie decorating, face painting, pop-corn maker and a jumper!  Talk about fun times!!! :)

Last night was Halloween. Your dad and I carved pumpkins, drank hot tea, sparkling apple cider, and took some funny pictures of you INSIDE a pumpkin! Hahahahaha. It was your auntie Erica's idea ;) We also dressed you as FievelFievel costume, SOOOOooooo, we put it on you anyway! I didn't want it to go to waste. We got pictures of you in the Fievel costume, by maybe next year you will use it as your main costume if you don't outgrow it. ;) After our quiet night at home, we went over to your grandma Diane and grandpa Jim's house and watched the Sing Off on T.V. All together it was a really fun weekend! Now we are sick, and feeling tired. Hahaha, but at least we went out with a bang! We will get better though. You slept well last night and I'm letting you take plenty of naps, and warm baths. Love you Little guy.

We Serve a Gracious God. A Personal God.

Dear Elijah,

Tonight I was sitting in our living room and saw a picture on the internet that tore my heart out. You had already been put to bed, and were nice and warm with a full tummy and sleeping so peacefully. Everything in my world was so good I realized. I can feed my precious baby, who I love so so so unbelievably much. I can put clothes on you when you are cold, and give you something to drink when you are thirsty. These things that I just mentioned mean so much to me as a mother, and my first priority right now is you. Taking care of you, nurturing you, loving you, and giving you the things you need. I pray for you EVERY SINGLE DAY, night, morning, noon, like all the time!

The picture that I saw, made my heart break, but not only that, it made my chest burn inside. I could not hold this emotion in, and I felt like throwing up all of a sudden.  My heart was/is so heavy Elijah. It’s heavy for all the babies I can’t take care of. All the babies I can’t show love to, and all the babies who are starving for food, love and attention. It kills me… Just kills me inside…  I have this thing inside of me that turns on, and when it does, it weighs me down in a way. But moreover, it makes me want to do something; anything, to help. If you were ever in need Elijah, I pray to God that someone would reach out to you. I need to have that same wish for other babies/children on our world as well.

I looked at your dad and said… “Babe, I feel sick… I can’t shake this heaviness and my chest feels like it’s burning.” He asked me why, and thought I was maybe getting a cold. I answered, “no babe, all I could think about is our precious baby boy in there, and if I couldn’t feed him I would want to die.” He then told me what has been on his heart, and I shared my ideas and what has been on mine. He has a heart for a ministry called, Hope For the Hungry, and I want to sponsor a baby/child through World Vision. I had been thinking of ideas, and trying to figure out ways we could do this, but also try to reach further out. So far my ideas are simple, but effective I believe. We are going to cancel Net Flix. That’s 9 dollars a month that can go to help feed and clothe a baby/child/family, and some other things we feel called to let go of. So far that’s like 40 dollars a month we can use for sponsoring a precious child of God!!! I’m so excited God gave me these ideas. He is so good, and I am amazed by His power every day. God has richly blessed this family Eli, and now we need to reach out and extend his blessings to others. And you know sometimes it's not even about letting go of things, but giving regaurdless, trusting that God will provide. Every person has a different calling, and I don't believe that if one person is doing one thing, you have to do that exact same thing. God speaks to us all individually. Sometimes passions and ideas unite, and other times yours may be different. Oh, a good example is fasting. Sometimes God will call one person to fast with food. But other times he may ask them to fast with time, or T.V, or dare I say... Starbucks! Hehe ;)

 The weight was lifted at least a little bit, and at least I know that God is working. I’m proof that God really does speak to people, and touch the hearts of people who can help other people who are suffering. God just needs us to respond! It’s like, “light bulb moment” for me. He is helping those families through all kinds of avenues. I just hope and pray that my small changes and donations will make a huge difference in someone’s life.  I’m writing to you about this moment Elijah because I think it’s important for you to know and be aware of the world around you. I want you also to let God speak to your heart and make changes through you no matter how big or small. I want you to be led by the Holy Spirit to do things in God’s name. Know how important listening to God is, and how your obedients can effect so much more than you.

The other night I was lying in bed and God was not letting me go to sleep quite yet. I felt Him tell me to pray for a baby. I had no idea who this baby was! I felt God lead the prayer, and I said and prayed words that were pretty detailed. I still don’t know who I was praying for Eli, but when God can give you a prayer, pray it. I was blessed by a prayer he gave me for someone I will probably never meet or know their situation. I prayed that God would protect them that God would send someone to help them, and to save them from their misery. I prayed that they would be loved and nurtured, and shown the love of Christ. I prayed so many things, and it really got me to open my heart up for things I never imagined. I basically told God, “Our doors are open, we are ready and willing to serve you.” I have a renewed passion for things. God blessed me when all I was doing was praying for someone else. It’s seriously mind blowing. I see God’s grace and mercy Eli. We are hopeful. We have so much hope and faith in our God. He is stronger than poverty, and stronger than neglect.

Fun Filled Weekend...

Dear Elijah,

This past weekend was really packed full of stuff! Saturday I spent the morning hours resting, while you and daddy went to grandma Holland’s house to play with Ruger and let him out to run around and go to the bathroom.  When you and daddy got back I was just putting some Pumpkin Bread in the oven. I’m so excited Elijah, because I made up my own recipe for pumpkin bread, and it came out so good! Now I have my own recipe that I can make for you and daddy on special occasions. It’s a secret Holland recipe, and you will someday inherit it from me! I realize you may not be much of a baker, but if you ever want to give it a go, you will having something yummy to work with.  After that the three of us went to Starbucks, and a nice walk. We eventually made it back home and got ready for the Saturday night Church Service for Trinity Lutheran Church’s 90^th Anniversary!!!! Can you believe that!? Trinity Lutheran Church, the place mommy grew up, mommy and daddy went to high school youth group together, where you daddy was baptized, where mommy and daddy got married and where you were baptized has been blessed with 90 GREAT years of God’s faithfulness and love.  We are so humbled and blessed to be a part of that long history filled with so many wonderful, faithful servants of Jesus. I am so touched and happy that you got to be there and celebrate with us such an awesome thing for the church we plan to raise you in. It felt like we were at a huge family reunion! There were powerful words spoken by some of the past pastors of Trinity including Pastor Larry Christenson, Pastor Paul Anderson, and your current pastor, Nathan Hoff. All the services were just so anointed. You went to all 3! We woke up early Sunday morning. Your daddy took off to go practice for worship, and then came back to pick you and I up. We had to get there early to get seats because the place was packed! We shared a pew with The Fly family, and their daughter Lydia is about 5 months older than you, and as cute as a button! After the service we enjoyed looking at old pictures in the lounge, and then eating together in the MPR while watching a slide show of Trinity over the years! After that was the last service which was fun, interactive and very funny! The pastors had to answer questions, we sang, and the kids choir and adult choir sang for us! Well all together, it was such a fun time! 

After the Trinity celebration we headed out to Starbuck for a while, and then over to your Uncle Jimmy’s birthday party. That was also such a fun time. We ate yummy food, and super  yummy dessert!!! We love family events, and time spent with your cousins, grandparents, aunts , uncles, and friends.  God really blessed that time as well. Your auntie Tiff sure knows how to throw nice party for her husband!

HAHAHAHAHA! You just fell sideways because you lost your balance sitting up, and when you fell I said in a silly voice… “Elijah!!! You fell down…” and you had the biggest goofy smile on your face and were laughing! Oh, that just made my day! You are so funny. You think it’s hilarious when you fall over! You never try to though, but when you do fall, you SMILE SO BIG, and sometimes I get to hear you chuckle at yourself a little. Hahahahaha! Oh my heart! Well last night was your THIRD night in your own room in your crib! You have been doing great! You have even been taking your naps in your crib! What a great little transition you made! Wooohooo! Proud of you Elijah… Alrighty Elijah, I must go now. Love you!

Burning the mortgage!

Us and Pastor Paul Anderson

Us and Pastor Nathan standing where we said our wedding vows!

Hanging out at Uncle Jimmy's birthday party :)

You waking daddy up from a nap! Hehe

He loves you!

Humming a Sweet Song

Dear Elijah,
I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but you totally hum yourself to sleep. When you fall asleep in my arms, in your daddy's arms, or in your bed, you hum until you fall asleep! It's pretty much the cutest thing :) You are eating more and more solids, and LOVE your homemade baby food. You have crackers now, and I think it's the funniest thing watching you smack your food with your two bottom teeth, and no sense of manners. It's the best! Mouth open, crunching loud, and giving it everything you've got to gum that cracker down so you can swallow it. You are so smart, you knew exactly what to do when I handed you the cracker. It was like you've been eating crackers all your life :) Hahaha.
You have turned into a little hand full! I mean that in such a good way. You no longer just sit, lay and sleep. You talk more than ever, you grab everything in sight, and you enjoy interaction with us. You now tend to get sad if no one is talking to you. So we are always entertaining, playing, and interacting with you. I told you daddy the other day that my days have gotten more tiring since I'm so excited to spend most of the day interacting with you in one way or another. We sing, we dance, we talk, we play, we practice sitting up, we tickle, we laugh, we play SUPER BABY, and you watch mommy do dishes in the kitchen. On your down time, you like to play in your jumper, or lay on a blanket on the floor with toys dangled above. You can totally entertain yourself, and talk to yourself, and I think it's because you know mommy is willing to be right there, but you don't always need me. As long as we spend a good amount of time together, you are a happy camper to be on your own for a while. Another thing you really enjoy is being read to. You have a book called "Bubbles, Bubbles." It's a Sesame Street book; one of there Sesame Beginnings books. I will read it to you and try to put it away, but you want more! So I end up reading it to you about 5 times in a row. You look at every page, and love seeing me point to the words as I read them. Here is the story and how we read it:

Bubbles, bubbles on my nose. (mommy points to your nose)
Bubbles, bubbles on my toes. (mommy tickles your toes)
Bubbles, bubbles in my hair. (mommy rubes your head)
Bubbles, bubbles everywhere! (mommy makes her hand wave across the book)
Bubbles, bubbles float on top. (mommy makes her fingers wiggle at the top of the page)
Bubbles, bubbles POP! POP! POP! (mommy makes a fist and opens her hand for every pop) your fav!
Bubbles, bubbles fly so high! (mommy reaches to the sky)
Count 1-2-3 as they go by. (Mommy shows you the number of fingers make 3)
Bubbles, bubbles are so fun! (mommy just sounds extremely happy)
Bubbles, bubbles for everyone! (Theeeeeeeeeeee End)

Your daddy and I have it memorized now. Hahahaha. You are such a happy baby boy, and you love life! I am having the greatest time with you. You and your daddy like to give me tiny heart attacks lately. Since you are more alert and like to be played with, your daddy throws you in the air as you laugh. You and daddy are laughing and smiling, while mommy has a half smile, eyes squinted, and hands out ready to dive and catch you at any moment. Hahahahaha. He would never drop you, and he is safe about it, not throwing you too high, but there is always something inside of me that will be super protective. Heehee... He was swinging you around the other night and got your head pretty close to the floor, and he looked at me.... Then he looked at you and said, "whoa Elijah, we almost got in trouble for that one." Hahahahaha. Ok, well I love you, better go now.

Daddy as a Baby!

Dear Elijah,
Last night we went to visit your grandma and grandpa Holland. I asked to see some of your daddy's baby videos of when he was about 6 months old. IT WAS SO UNCANNY!!! You guys definitely had your differences, but OH MY GOSH, it was like watching another version of you. You guys had the same face expressions, same cry, same sounds, and same movements. It was like so weird to watch, but I couldn't peel my eyes away! You both had similar reactions, frustrations, and smiles! Of that smile! No wonder your daddy had me at Hello. ;) Well, not exactly at hello, but you know the story. hahaha... Both of you have that amazing smile, and it was so cool to see how much of your daddy is in you. I see a lot of me too, especially lately, but what is ultimately cool, is that you look like Elijah! You have your own twist on your daddy and I, and it's so fun to see what our genes created. We'll have to show you these videos someday and see what you think ;)
Ok, so another exceptionally cute thing that you do must be told. I asked your daddy if he had noticed something that you do, that I have noticed and enjoyed for a while now. He said he hadn't really noticed yet, so you and I showed him. Whenever we are watching "F-R-I-E-N-D-S" you could care less, and are usually focused on your toys or whatever you may be doing, BUT, every time you hear the theme song you stop whatever you are doing and stare at T.V.! It's soooooooooooooooo funny! You totally love the song, and will stop everything to watch and listen. It's cute! When your dad saw, he couldn't stop laughing. We even took a video of it tonight. You don't pay attention EVER to the television when it is on; you don't even pay much attention to your Veggie Tales at this point. You would much rather talk to mommy, play with your toys, and go for walks to touch leaves, grass, and flowers. You sort of love nature ;) It's fun to see how much you look around and study everything you see on our walks, or when we go to the park! You also like watching cars drive by. I LOVE YOU!!! I just have to say, I am such a blessed woman to have you and your daddy in my life! I take delight in you and your daddy. I am overjoyed to stand next to you two as a family, and will always claim you both... Except when you embarrass me that is... Then I may walk in the other direction for a second. hahaha! No but seriously, every decision I make, every word that I say, and every move that I make will always begin with you guys in mind. We are a family, and that's what everything revolves around now. It's awesome. When I married your daddy, my world changed. I now had another person to share my life with, and my world, my love my decisions and everything changed to include your daddy! Now you are here, and we get to include you in all of our life. You, your daddy and I are a package deal, and it's so unbelievably cool how close we are. We are all a unit that moves together. It's pretty amazing Elijah. God is at the center of our unit, and we are so blessed to have a God who loves us and blesses this family every day. LOVE YOU!

cleaning the tables at Starbucks again... lol

Family Outings

Dear Elijah,
You will be 6 months old tomorrow!!! Well, it's at least your 6 month anniversary tomorrow, and I can't believe it's been that long. You are officially half a year old ;) We decided to take you down to the Ocean (Paseo Del Mar) and hang out for a bit, but man it was super foggy and cold over there. So weird because the past two days were so miserable hot. I wanted to see the sun set by the Ocean, but we couldn't see much since the fog was so strong! We still hung out for a while down there, and we got some pictures. I brought a fall looking blanket of yours, and two pumpkins in case the sky was pretty enough to take your 6 month old pictures. The sky was not pretty, but we took some pictures anyway ;) After that we went to go eat at Egg Roll King! It was yummmmm.. Then we walked down to the "Blockbuster" video machine and rented a couple movies. You, little Mr., were pressing all the buttons and kept making the screen switch on us. You pressed the "help" button multiple times. You're so fast! I would only go close to look at the movie your dad was wanting to rent, and you would reach out and press the screen so fast! Hahaha We were just laughing so hard, because you are so determined! Once you get your sights on something, you go all out. Ok, I better go now. You are hungry! Love you