your face is killing me...

Dear Elijah,
by now you must know that mommy and daddy think you are the worlds cutest baby! We think you are handsome AND have a great personality ;) Well, now of days you are holding your head up pretty good, although you are still a wee bit wobbly... You are also kicking like you have to train for a Marathon or something! You wave your arms around so fast that in pictures all you see are waves of your limbs flying by. Hahaha... You still have a great appetite, but best of all.................... YOU ARE SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! Heehee... Lets see how long that will last ;) This has been going on for the past 4 nights. Crazy! You ALMOST laughed again this morning, and let out the tiniest laugh yesterday, but then you held back. So still no luaghter, but I think soon :) You make enough happy sounds to melt mommy's heart though, and I love hearing you talk to your toys hanging above you in your play mat. Oh and just for your information, you have your mommy's belly button! That's right folks, Elijah has MY belly button! You take after your daddy so much that when I see something similar to me, I think it's cool. :) Lets see, you do not enjoy tummy time at all, and when I put you on your tummy, you try to work your neck as much as you can, but then cry for me to save you. I let you cry a tiny bit before I pick you up, but not to much because I don't like it. Sooooooo, you may not be getting 20 minutes a day of tummy time, but I won't tell if you won't tell ;) I do try though, it's just hard to see you trying so hard, and then balling because you hate the position you are in. I try laying you on my tummy, and you prefer tummy time when you are close to me. It's like you are being held, but you are getting tummy time that way. Or I will do "SUPER BABY!!!" with you, which you LOVE, and that works the same muscles in your neck as tummy time does. I love you so much my baby boy. You are growing growing growing, and I am loving and taking in every second of it. I had to retire more outfits this week ;) Such a healthy little guy you are ;) Your personality id really showing more and more. You know what you like and what you don't like. You know how you like to be held, and you are so aware of what is around you now. You look around at everything now which is why I hold you facing out now. Oh, and I love that sometimes you really just want your mommy! It feels so good to know that you just want to be held by me sometimes. You will usually go to anyone who wants to hold you right now, but there are moments where you would just rather be in my arms. I love that! I was holding you yesterday and you were so cozy, in your favorite position, and your grandma started coming close and talking to you... You totally flipped out and started crying like your feeling were so hurt. Your lip stuck out and you had sad eyes. I believe you thought she was going to take you from me, so once I stood up and talked to you, you were just fine. It was hilarious. I couldn't help but laugh. and your grandma was laughing too! You crack me up little one...

This was you this morning before we took daddy to work :)

This was this morning when you first woke up!

The sounds of you...

Dear Elijah,
You smell so good all the time, and I find myself just sitting with you in my arms just smelling your sweet little aroma. I love your feet that fit into the palm of my hand, your little ears that stick out, your lips that are so kissable, your eyes that stare at me so intensely, and your cheeks that are so cute and chubby! I could just eat you up! Today I was sitting on the couch typing, and you were laying right next to me. I glanced at you to see if you were asleep since you were so quiet, but your weren't. You were wide awake just staring at me. Your eyes were locked on my face, and I whispered hello to you, and you just smiled. SOOOOOOOOOOO Cute! I love you, you little handsome face. When you eat, I absolutely LOVE the sound of you gulping! I don;t know what it is, but your little gulps sound so cute. That is one of mommy's favorite sounds you make. That and your happy squeals. You are so close to laughing! Daddy and mommy almost made you laugh the other day, but you pulled back and it turned into a happy noise. We can't get enough of your sweet little sounds. You are finding your voice, and we are finding so much joy in that. We excitedly await the day you find your laughter. I already tear up when you make lots of sweet sounds, and smile, I am going to be a mess when you laugh! I would say, expect tears baby boy, because there is no way your mommy will not cry at the sound of your laughter! The mornings are the best with you! You wake up soooooooooooooooooooooo happy and smile so big at mommy when I peek into your little sleeper. You kick and smile and talk to me when you first wake up. You will usually play with me for a while until you figure out that you are hungry ;) Then you give me warning noises as if to say... "Mom, I'm about to cry now, so you might want to get my breakfast ready." Hahaha. That time is mommy time. A time that only I get to witness, and it's such a beautiful time that I will never take for granted! I enjoy it immensely! Your daddy and I are notorious for yelling at each other to come quick and look!!! "Look babe, Loooook! He smiled!!!" That's us, on a daily basis. Hahaha.

We took you to the beach for the first time last Saturday, and you very much enjoyed yourself. You like being outdoors, and we had you in a little beach tent we got at one of your showers from a family in our church who started up a surf camp for kids who want to learn how to surf. It was a great day! Well I gotta rush!!! We are going to pick up your daddy now from work!

Us at surf camp. Your first beach day!

You and mommy this morning.

Getting so big and holding your head up now!!!

Such a big boy!

Sweet Days... That Feeling...

Dear Elijah,
This morning was a crazy morning for us. First, You went to the bathroom on your clothes because your diaper leaked! So mommy took off your dirty clothes and got you in the bathtub, where you were only trying to swim and splash around (which was super cute by the way) haha. Then, I dressed you in a new outfit your grandma got for you, and you decided you didn't want to wear that because you threw up all over it, including mommy's shirt and shorts! So I guess you didn't want mommy to wear that today either. So I changed you again, and you peed all over that one... ;) Hahahahaha, and mommy sat in your pee spot, so apparently you didn't like our second choice of wardrobe change. So we changed again, and you were great! Then you decided to give daddy a hard time by crying and crying in his arms, while he tried to sooth and talk to you. You were just tired and hungry. Mommy was just trying to get clean, but had to rush rush rush to feed you for like the 5th time this morning. Me thinks you are going through another growth spurt, because your are eating like mommy's little piggy wiggy ;) I love it though. It really makes me happy that you have a healthy appetite. You finally fell asleep for a while, so mommy did 4 loads of laundry, organized the bathroom cabinet, did the dishes and then fed you again as you were waking up from your nappy-poo! Now you have been playing so good in your play matt thingy with the cool thingy's hanging on that cool thing... Well, you like it in there, and let mommy get so much more done, while you listened to your kids worship cd. Of course I couldn't do anything without coming and talking to you for bits of time as I did my stuff. I love talking to you and playing with you. I picked you up today and an overwhelming feeling came across me like, "wow, I can't believe you are MY baby." So I said it out loud to you and followed it with, "you are just so beautiful." Crazy how the obvious can hit you so strong at moments. I have been listening to this song lately called... Well I don't know what it's called, but here are some of the lyrics :)

Come and make my heart your home

Come and be everything I am and all I know

Search me through and through

Until my heart becomes a home for You

A Home for You

Let everything I do,  open up the door for You to come through

that my heart may be place that you want to be

Just thought I'd share. I really enjoy this song. It's about Jesus ;)

I'll never find words to describe how you make me feel... But you know that feeling you get right before you are about to go on a roller coaster, or that excited feeling you get coming home after a long time being away? That feeling you get when you feel the ocean breeze on your face, or when you give someone you love a hug. You give me that feeling every single day :)

 

Shots and Happy Fathers Day!

Dear Elijah,

Well this last Friday you had to get all your shots! It was terrible. I was very sad for you, and was dreading the appointment.  It worked out so that your daddy could not come, and I was scrambling to find someone to come with you and I because I knew I couldn’t do it alone! I called my mom, my sister, and even your uncle Jake. Hahaha… I thought your grandma Holland was going to be busy working out with your daddy, but your dad said that is she wasn’t busy doing other stuff, he would push the work out time back a little if we were running late. Soooooooooo, She agreed to come with us! Yay!!! I already knew I was going to cry, so I didn’t want to be alone with the nurse balling. When we got there, I actually prayed in the waiting room that everything with your appointment would go smoothly and you would be a healthy boy. Everything checked out great! You are growing very well, your head is a good size, and you had a perfect temperature. The nurses were saying that you were such a beautiful baby, and of course I would have to agree . Heehee. Then it was time… Dun, dun, dun… I had to take you into the SHOT ROOM!!! The MEAN ROOM!!! My poor baby boy… The nurse asked, “So who is holding his legs down for me?” I naturally pointed at grandma! Horrible, I know, but I couldn’t do it! She did a great job holding your strong little legs, and I stood by your head talking to you and rubbing your head and cheeks. The first shots came and you cried like mommy had never seen before, so of course, I CRIED TOO!!! Tears were rolling down both our cheeks. So much for trying to be strong for you… It was killing me, and the nurse just kept on going! Jeeeeeeeeeze!!! Finally she was done being mean to you, and I scooped you up into my arms, while your grandma handed me a paper towel to dry my tears. Hahaha. Sheesh. What an ordeal… You were such a brave little guy, and stopped crying after it was all over. Mommy gave you a bottle, and you were just fine.

So this last weekend was your daddy’s first Father’s day! It was so great to celebrate the wonderful daddy that he is, and get to tell him all day long “Happy First Fathers Day babe!” He inspires me, and is always so good to us. He loves you so much, so it was an honor to give him a day to be celebrated. You’re a blessed little guy to have your daddy. He loves his family and God more than anything.  We started off the weekend at uncle Jimmy and aunt Tiffany’s house for a Father’s Day dinner for your dad, uncle Jimmy and your grandpa Jim. It was so much fun getting all together, and getting to hang out with your sweet and funny cousins. Man, kids are the best!

On Father’s Day, which was Sunday, we went to church together and heard an awesome message from pastor Nathan. It’s always nice seeing our extended church family. They are so sweet and uplifting. After church we went to your grandma Dacrie and grandpa Deans house because they invited us for a Father’s Day lunch. It was nice seeing your great grandpa Lloyd and great grandma Nel there too. My mom made tacos and have every kind of meet, it was soooooooooo yummy! Then your dad, you and I went to get daddy’s present, then to starbucks for Phase 10 and coffee. Then we all went to the park to get some fresh air and hang out together as a family. You loved it out there in the windy ocean breeze. I took some good pictures of you and daddy. You guys are buddies. After that your dad rented a movie that was NOT a chick flick, and we ate dinner together and watched that movie.  Great weekend! Love you my little snuggle head!

Two Months My Love Bug

You and mommy today, June 15th, 2011

Dear Elijah,
It's June 15th, and you were born two months ago on April 15th! Such a happy day for your daddy and I. We have had a blast these past two months Elijah. You're fun and keep us on our toes. Today I went a little picture crazy and took so many pictures of you. It's just that you are so cute. I never thought I would post so many pictures of you, but when I see them I just want to share them with our family and friends. Hahaha, I'm so proud of my baby boy face sweetie! ;) Today you really started to react to what I was doing. You usually don't show an instant reaction to our funny faces, or dances, but today I made a blue teddy bear dance for you and you would not take your eyes off of it and smiled so big! When I took it away, you stopped smiling, and didn't know where to look. Then when I would do it again, you would follow the bear with your eyes and smile really big! It was so cool to see, and I love seeing your different stages. You are now so much easier to make smile. You smile when you are entertained now and it's so cute! Your daddy and I love when you wake up now of days because you always smile, and make happy sounds that melt our hearts! We love those moments we share with you. Oh man, that feeling your daddy and I get when you wake up, smile, and we get to pick you up, is priceless! It's the best! I actually miss you when you sleep, and can't wait to get my hands on you when you wake up ;) It was your Auntie Tiff and Uncle Jimmy's 8 YEAR WEDDING anniversary yesterday, and we got to see them for a little bit while they dropped your cousins off at Grandma and Grandpa Hollands house. We were there visiting, and your daddy had to use their computer for some school projects. It was a nice treat to see your sweet cousins Grace, Katelynne, and Hannah! Hannah said "Ste-pha-nieeeee" and it was so cute to hear her say my name ;) So you got to hang out with your super sweet cousins yesterday while their mommy and daddy celebrated 8 years of marriage. Cool huh? Then your Auntie Erica and Uncle Oscar came over to our house with your Uncle C.J. and cousin Nicholas. That was nice, and your auntie Erica had you flirting, and smiling away while she sweet talked you ;) your uncle Oscar also had you smiling because he was making cool sounds and tunes.  You just went down for another nap, so I will see you when you wake up. I love you Elijah James Holland. Happy two month birthday!

Uncle C.J. and you, day before your baptism

You the day before yesterday in your cute blue plaid outfit :)

today!!! :) So cute

no pictures please... ;)

This was you yesterday in your cute plaid overalls :)

You today at two months!

The Baptism

Dear Elijah,
Wow did we ever have a great weekend!!! Oh Elijah, life is good, especially because you have enriched our lives and remind us every day of God's miracles. We started off the weekend on Friday night with a movie night and mini workout. The next morning you and I joined your daddy at the gym. While your dad trained some clients, you slept, and I worked out for about an hour and a half! It was awesome. Your daddy helped with my technique, and checked in on me here and there. We later went to the first church soft ball game of the summer, and your daddy scored a home run! Your uncle C.J. played too, and your daddy and him both did very good! I loved cheering them on, and you pretty much slept through the whole game except for the moments mommy woke you up by yelling out and cheering! Hahaha... Then on Sunday... You were BAPTIZED!!! :) :) :)

The whole first part of the service your daddy and I were teary eyed, and on the verge of balling out eyes out. Hahaha. Everytime I would tear up, I would tell myself to suck it up! Jeeze!!! So emotional... We both thought we would break when you were actually getting baptized, but surprisingly we toughened up some, and were able to participate without balling. ;) You were such a good boy. You payed attention, stayed awake, and only cried for a quick moment when you felt the water touch your head. It was awesome. So cool to see you experience something so powerful and so meaningful to be a part of. We promised to raise you up in the church and teach you about God, and the word of God. It's so touching to know that our church and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ will walk along side us and support us in prayer for you. Also, we were joined up there by your god-parents Cruz and Melissa. They are so sweet and love you very much. There is a lot about that day, and so much about baptism that I want to tell you, but I can't even put it into words. It was beautiful, and Pastor Nathans words were very powerful. His words were powerful because they were strait from scripture, and very true and pure. One cool thing I thought of later is the fact that Pastor Nathan Hoff baptized your daddy, then he married your dad and I, and now he baptized you! Pretty cool, Huh Elijah? We have definitely learned a lot from him, and are thankful to Jesus that he is our pastor. After church we invited family back to our place for food and further celebration! It was so fun and I have to tell you Elijah, I am blown away by our families and how they all are so ready to come together and celebrate with us. They are so loving and so caring and are such a joy to be around. They all came over to out tiny place and made our apartment feel like a mansion. They brought you gifts and cards, and plenty of love :) It's always touching as a mother to see people love and care about your baby. You mean so much to us Elijah, and we will continue to pray for you, bring you to church and teach you the word of God. You are a beautiful child of God, and we are so blessed to love you.

Our little Family :)

You getting baptized!!!

Your wonderful god-parents :)

Kyrie Eleison

Dear Elijah,
I absolutely love the melody of Kyrie Eleison (Lord have Mercy), and so I sang it to you today and you just sat there very peaceful and listened. What a powerful song, and it's only two lines. Every time I sing it, I get teary eyed and want to pray. So while I was nursing you I was praying and expressing to God how incredible it is to me that I see his faithfulness, provision, and love every day. Your daddy and I were just talking last night in bed about how we are in awe of God, and how he has taken this family up in His hands and cared for us. We are so amazed by how much we have. I looked at your daddy and said, "Man babe, we are so rich!" He looked at me like I was crazy at first, and said, "What, like, how?" I finished by saying to look at all we have! We have a place to live, your daddy has a great job that he loves, Your daddy and I were blessed to be born into our loving families, we are blessed to live in this country, and now we have the most beautiful little boy, YOU! I want to cry just thinking about it. I'm so beyond happy that God chose your dad and I to be your parents! We are so blessed, and humbled that he would chose us to give such a precious gift such as yourself to. I am humbled to know that God loves us and wants the best for us. I'm glad you were born into this family Elijah, because we are going to love the heck out of you, and do our very best with you. Thank Jesus we have Him to fall back on and to lead us. See how rich we are!!! We have everything! You don't have to have 20 cars and big mansions, just Jesus, love, and in our case friends, and family. The only reason your daddy and I are so in love is because we trust that God will help us, and nurture our love for Him, for each other and now for you! It's comforting to have a husband that prays, prays for me, and prays for you Eli :) It's nice to wake up from a nightmare and know that I have someone who will pray with me. It's great to have a hard day, and know that your daddy will come beside me in prayer. It's amazing that when I worry about you or anything, your daddy will walk with me through prayer. Basically I just hope and pray that you will grow up knowing how great God's Mercy is, how wonderful God's Grace is, and how you will be needing both God's mercy and grace to be a strong man of faith. Mommy is thankful for the church and for the Godly men He has placed in your life. Remember to pray Elijah, and to open your eyes to His presencs in your life. Love you!

You 2 days ago, Tuesday :)

My little sweetie

You and me hanging out ;)

Daddy's First Birthday as a Daddy :)

Dear Elijah,
Last night you were laying in your little sleeper and all I could see were your little feet sticking out from the top. I was laying on the couch just staring at your little feet. I was falling even more in love with you during this time of silence and peace. I was thinking about how your tiny feet are so smooth right now, and you don't use them much at present. Only to kick mommy and daddy sometimes ;) I was thinking about where those feet are going to take you? They are some day going to be bigger than mine, and walking to all sorts of places. I was praying that your little feet would take you wherever God wants you to be, and that you would walk on a path of love, peace and integrity. Last night I was laying in bed with your daddy and we were talking about you. About how much we love you and how protective we have both become. I asked him to pray for me that I wouldn't worry about you so much, but instead enjoy you in every moment that God blesses us with you. I want to be able to enjoy every second with you and don't want to be robbed of that by fear. I think I worry more than the average person lately, and needed to be released from that, and be able to know and believe that God can take care of you better than I can, and He will. He will also help me to make wise decision concerning you and this family :) After praying, I felt 10x better! Prayer really really really works! I'm a work in progress, but God sure can give me peace and carry my burdens while we figure out how to work through this. You are such a joy Elijah, and you make me smile every day and night!

This weekend was your daddy's birthday weekend, and today is your daddy's birthday! It's been super fun celebrating with him. It was exciting because it was his first birthday being a daddy, and we loved having you here to celebrate your dad's birth! You and I went out and got him a bunch of fun gifts and I wrapped them all individually so that I could give him a couple gifts each day till his birthday. That didn't happen! I am just like your daddy in that way and can't help but give gifts right when I get them! Hahahahaha. So your daddy got ALL his gifts on the first day of the birthday weekend! Haha. Oh well, he liked them, and he didn't want to wait either... We went out to breakfast the next morning to the Pacific Diner to get out favorite omelets! Yummers! We love it there :) We were joined by Dean and Jake, so it was really nice. Then your daddy, you and I went for a walk in at the park by the ocean. It was so much fun. We sang to you!!! We were making up songs thinking we were so clever, but there was one I just have to get on film, because I didn't want to forget it. We always make up songs and then forget them! Hahaha, but I liked this one and thought it was funny at the moment, so we filmed it. I will show you someday! It's called the HOLLAND SONG a.k.a. The Holland FA-MI-LY... Heehee :) We have probably written about 100 songs about you. We sing songs to you all the time, but never the same one twice! Hahaha, because we can't remember it! After the park, we went and played PHASE 10 at Starbucks! I WON!!! No mercy, I was not going to let your dad win just because it was his birthday, he won at another card game when I was in labor, so I was out to get him! Haha. Then we rented 3 movies, got ice cream, and all snuggled on the couch to relax... Oooooh, that sounds good right now. I want to do that again ;) Then the next day your grandma and grandpa Thornblad took us out to a birthday brunch at the Waffle and Omelet House! Yummerlicious! I got a chocolate shake, so good!!! Then we went home and watched another movie! This morning your daddy left to go to work for a couple hours, and when he got home, you and I had made him cup cakes and had a card waiting on the table for him. We made the card too ;) I realize you are not even able to hold your head up for too long, and yet you are making cupcakes and cards, but you see, when you are a baby, you get automatic credit for that stuff. Heehee... Then this evening we got to meet up with your cousins Grace, Katelynne, and Hannah. Your auntie Tiff, Uncle Jimmy, and grandma and grandpa Holland for dinner at Carrows! That was so much fun too! So nice having all this family around. Well we have had a pretty busy weekend Eli. Maybe that means you will sleep longer tonight?! One can hope ;) Hahaha...

You have been holding your head up a lot more now, and are awake a lot more now. You make all kinds of sounds, and smile so much. You react to us now, which is cool! We love to make you smile. But we will do one thing that makes you smile really big, then when we go to show each other, you apparently don't think the same thing is funny twice :/ Love you Elijah James Holland. You are our favorite!

So cool...

Dear Elijah,
You are doing so much now, and yes, at 3am mommy can't help but engage! I love talking to you when you are in the mood even if it is at 3am. You wake up from your naps all happy and talking, and then you remember that you must be hungry. So you make a sad face all of a sudden and cry till mommy feeds you. It's so adorable! You are making the sweetest sounds, louder than ever before, and way more than you even have. You are awake way more now. You get up about 3 times a night to eat. It's so hard because mommy doesn't get much sleep, but it's so worth it just to hold you. Once I see your face, I melt and put aside my tiredness to catch some of your sweetness. You kick, kick. kick right now. Always moving your little legs, and kicking us in the stomach all the time. It actually hurts sometimes because you have so much strength packed behind it. I measured you today because I noticed that you have out-grown some of your clothes :( !!! I can't believe it, you are 24 inches. You have grown 3 inches more and they really show! Daddy took out all the clothes you don't fit into anymore, and made a sad face telling me that he is going to miss those cute little outfits. Hahaha. 
You got to meet mommies old friends from grade school yesterday. Sancha and Kiana came over with your nina for some busy bee sandwiches and fun times. I love when we all get together and talk. It's pretty funny. They got to hold you for the first time since both of then live in different places now. Sancha lives in Seattle, and Kiana is in Boston!
Well, your mommy finally started to try and get back into shape! This is going to be my first week working out with your daddy training me! Today was our first day and it was pretty tough, although I think he took it easy on me ;) It felt really good to get back into a good work out. Your daddy is really good at his job and got me to do things I never thought I could. It's going to be a tough couple of weeks since I haven't worked out in forever! Wish me luck baby boy.

You and Sancha!

You and Kiana!

Mommy right after your daddy worked my buns off! haha

Feelin' good!