Hey you! Since you are laying so nicely in your swing listening to classical music, I thought I would take a moment to write to you. Um, lets see, you're still cute! Hahaha... I have not really been sleeping, because you have decided to have a growth spurt and so you want to eat every hour! Sheeeeeeeesh, it's hard to keep up with that. I avoided, and avoided incorporating formula into our lives, but I was becoming an overwhelmed zombie! I was, and am pretty tired, and haven't been getting much sleep. I didn't mind at all feeding you every hour during the day, but it was the nights that were taking their toll on me. So I finally got some formula from the store, and was going to feed you one bottle of formula just at night. I read about it first, before I started deciding on anything, and read that many moms do this. They only use formula at night in order to get some sleep so that they are not worthless during the day. Many mommies seemed to think their was nothing wrong with this, ans said that their babies still breastfed fine during the day. I decided to give it a shot! I got everything ready and had it all set up for that night. But when I heard you fuss for the first time that night to be fed, I couldn't do it yet. I didn't give you the formula that time. I woke myself up and fed you myself. All these thoughts raced through my head like, what if you don't like it, what if it gives you an upset stomach and what if you have some sort of reaction to it. Finally the next round came and I was so tired that I decided to try it. I gave you the bottle, and you made a funny face when you first tasted it, but then went right along drinking it all up! You were fine, but I think I was not. Hahahahaha, something as simple (or so it would seem) as giving you formula made me uptight and weird. I personally didn't feel good about it quite yet, so I haven't done it since. You are back on mommy food, and you and I are good with that for now. You did sleep through the night after the formula though, just to point that out. You slept till 8am, and you usually wake at 5am. So the formula bought us 3 more hours of sleep which mommy really needed. I read that formula takes longer to digest than breast milk does, which is why mommies do that at night. Maybe in a few months I will try again, if you are still eating every one to two hours. We'll see. I've heard from many mommies that you just have to go with your gut, and do what feels right for you. So I will. Who knew incorporating formula would be so emotional? I had no idea.
You and I don't do any mommy and me, or really anything much with other moms in an organized setting. I prefer talking with my friends and family who are mommies. Maybe someday we will, but for now, I'm not very comfortable doing that stuff. You are still so small and very fickle. As most babies are, you change on a weekly basis, and I'm always afraid you are going to have a flip out cry session and I'm going to be in the middle of chaos trying to help. Hahahahaha, I know it's not like that, but in my head I think of the worst case scenario. You are pretty even tempered, and have yet to have a real good cry or fit. You have been more fussy lately, but that is only because you are eating so much. It's so fun to learn you. I know now what makes you fall asleep, when you are fussy tired, or fussy hungry, and how you like to be help and soothed. It's so cool being your mommy and knowing all your secrets ;) Heehee.
We went to Riverside yesterday to see the newlyweds and see pictures and videos of their honeymoon! It was so cool to see all the fun stuff they did together, and how much fun they had! They did so much, and still had time to enjoy the sun, and relax :) We all sat around talking about the wedding and how much fun we had, and hearing funny stories that everyone had of that day. So much fun. Riverside is where your Tia Dolly lives and it's so relaxing to go there and be with everyone. We always lose track of time when we are there ;) Your cousin Gavin who is 8 months old was there and he is sooooooooooooooooooooooo cute and sweet. It was so nice getting to hold him. I love looking around at all the little ones, and how much they are all loved. Uncle Oscar's god-son Andrew was there, and he is three years old. He is so cute and thought you were great! He kept coming over to me and holding your hand saying, "His hands are small, and mine are small too, but big to him," and "he's cute, I like your baby, he's cute." Then he asked me, "Do you have a husband?" yes... "What's his name?" Michael... "How old is the baby?" "almost two months... "what's his name?" Elijah... "His other name?" James... "and his other name?" Holland... "Oh, Elijah James... What's his other name?" Holland... "Oh, Elijah James... what's his other name?" Hahahahahaha, he asked for a while until he could say it all together. Then he asked me... "What did you become pregnant with?" I said, "a boy", and he replied, "My mom became pregnant with me, and when I grow up like you, but a man, I'm going to have a baby too." Heehee, he was so cute and sweet and asked me questions about you for a good 45 minutes and held your hand and rubbed your head and pinched your cheeks all the while. Then he asked to hold you, and I said of course he could if he sat on the couch :) I am always amazed at how gentle these little ones are with you. First your cousin Nicholas, and how sweet and gentle he was with you, and now this little boy. He speaks so well for a three year old, and asks all the right questions so that he can know what you mean when you say something he may not understand. I have a sneaky suspicion it could have to do with him having three very sweet older sisters ;) I also got to talk with my cousin Cathe who is Gavin's mommy and I'm so glad she told me some good mommy stuff. All she did was ask me casually, so has he had any cluster feedings, where it seems like all you are doing is feeding him. I was amazed, because that's exactly what we are going through right now and for the past week. She said hang in there, and her doctor said that this is when most mommies quit breastfeeding because it becomes more difficult, but to push through it, and in time it will even out again. Talk about just what I needed to hear. I could read about it all I want, but when another mom that I know personally confirms it, it makes me feel so much better.
Well, we love you baby boy. Oh and I almost forgot... I thought it was funny. I never push you on anyone, if people want to hold you, they just have to ask, because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable who doesn't want to hold a baby. I don't want them to feel bad for saying no. Hahaha, some people just don't feel comfortable holding a baby, and I totally get it. So I hold you until someone expresses the want to hold you. :) I always get nervous that someone will feel bad if they are holding you and you start to cry. Hahaha. I always say, "It's not you, he's just hungry." It's true, it has nothing to do with them, you just fuss right now when you need to be changed, are hungry or are tired and trying to fight sleep. But your auntie Erica came and got you, and when you started fussing, she fixed it. Haha, she didn't act nervous or look at me with a look of terror. I still do that!!! Even now when I'm holding someone else's baby and they start to cry, i get a look of terror, and give them back saying, oh my gosh they hate me! Haha... She just stood up and walked with you and talked to you, and calmed you down. I looked at Mike, and said, "Man, Erica's like the baby whisperer." Hahaha, She seems like a natural to me! wink, wink, hint, hint. HAHAHA...
ok, well I'm holding you now, typing with one hand which is hard, so I'm going to end here. love you sweet boy... Oh, you smell so good!
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| you, me, Cathe and Gavin :) |
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| you hanging with the girlies and Nino |
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| your pool hat! |
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| Little Andrew holding you ;) |
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