You are Here!!!

Dearest Elijah,
Now that I have held you and smelled you, and kissed you, I still can’t believe this is real. You are the sweetest baby in all the land! I actually made up a story of how you got to be the sweetest baby in all the land and I tell it to you while holding you. You were looking into my eyes last night as I told you:
“Elijah, did you know you are the sweetest baby in all the land? Well, you are. Do you want to know how you became the sweetest baby in all the land? I’ll tell you. Jesus was mixing your Elijah dust together and decided to add some sugar to your dust. He grabbed a handful of sweet sugar and sprinkled it over your body dust. Then He decided to add diamond dust to your mixture. He grabbed the diamond dust and sprinkled it in. Then he stirred it all together (insert stirring sound) into an Elijah bundle and placed you in mommy’s tummy to bake. And that is how you grew to be the sweetest baby in all the land.”

That’s your story! :) I love you so much little love. I have called you every term of endearment in the books! I’ve also made up a few of my own :) You have won over mommy and daddy’s hearts and filled our lives with overwhelming joy. I mean, I can stair at your foot for an hour, and then move to your nose, and look at that for another hour. I just burst out laughing sometimes while holding you because you are so darn cute it drives me crazy! Well, lets talk about the day you joined our family.

The day mommy went in to the doctor for yet another check up, they hooked me up to the monitor and about a half hour later told me that I was going to be induced! They could see that I was having contractions, plus I was already a little more than 4 centimeters, and they didn't want your heart rate to be stressed out by so many false alarms. I'm glad they made that decision. I felt peace about it, and only wanted what was best for you. So your Nina rushed us home to meet up with your daddy who was also rushing home from work. Yes, we stole your daddy out of work once again! Haha, but this time it was for real! I was so excited, nervous, emotional... Were we really about to meet you? I couldn't get it through my brain! Your daddy and I arrived to the hospital, they prepared our birthing room, and we went right in! Um, little did I know I was in for a whole lot of crazy! I had no idea what to expect since I didn’t want to know much about the birthing part of this experience. I thought the less I knew the less nervous I would make myself. I have never in my life seen a birth, not live or on video. First, I’m glad I did not write this letter too close to your birth date. I waited a while to gain more perspective on the whole experience. If I were to write about your birth right after, it would have read something like this… “Well Elijah, you were well worth it, but you will be an only child, because I am not doing that again!” Hahaha… Of course I do not mean that. I would do it again in a heart beat for you, and if the Lord wants to bless us with another child, I would do it for them too. It’s well worth the end product :) I looked at your daddy right after and told him that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done! It takes everything you have emotionally, mentally and physically! I am so blessed to have your daddy. He was right by my side the entire time, bringing me cranberry juice, water, rubbing my back, holding my hand, scratching my head, telling me how brave I was, and how I was doing such a great job! I was so happy to have him there. I will try not to go into too much detail of my experience, but I would love for you to know what it took for you to safely come into this world. Jesus had EVERYTHING to do with it. I feel like if it weren’t for my being able to pray through the whole thing, I would not have gotten through it. Jesus miraculously gave me the strength I needed. Your daddy and I prayed us through this whole experience. We prayed for you that you would be healthy and strong, and be able to come out with no complications. We prayed that mommy would physically be able to birth you without too many complications.

Going up! Labor and Delivery please!

Right before walking into the birthing room. In the waiting room :)

I started getting contraction when they gave me the inducing drug. Little did I know that when they hooked me up to the I.V., I would not be able to eat anything until a half hour after giving birth to you! I would like to mention that I was functioning off a small bowl of cereal, a couple sips of orange juice and a hand full of pirates booty! That is all I had to eat leading up to this point. It’s because I went from your doctor appointment right to the hospital, right to the birthing room, and there was such little time in between all that, so I forgot to eat anything. I was so hungry for the hours that I was having contractions. I started contractions at about 3pm, and you came along at 2:38am the next morning. Your daddy was so funny. He was trying not to eat in front of me, but he too was really hungry and was afraid that if he didn’t eat, he would pass out during the intense part. So I understood, and let the hospital bring him food and coffee :) Thank goodness your daddy ate, because he played a HUGE part in your birth. After hours of contractions, visits from family members, and one game of cards with your daddy I all of a sudden NEEDED the epidural! The pain was getting so bad that I finally told the nurse, “PLEASE, NOW, must have the pain killer…” Then I grabbed your daddy’s hand so hard, I thought I might break it. I felt so bad. After a bad contraction I would ask him if he was alright. Haha. The nurse was taking her time getting it all set up, and the anesthesiologist was not there yet. I looked at your daddy and was like, “tell them to hurry up!!! I don’t want to feel one more of these!” He just tried to talk me through them, and calm me down. Finally the anesthesiologist walked in. Although I was nervous to receive the shot in the spine, I was in so much pain that I didn’t care as much as I thought I would. They made your daddy leave the room, and I hated that! But thank the Lord the doctor was very nice, soft spoken and talked me through the whole thing. They made me sit up on the side of the bed and put my feet on a booster to hold my legs still. Then they had me lay my face in an upright doughnut shaped thing to hold my head steady and straighten my spine. He then had me arch my spine and gave me a tiny local anesthesia shot to numb the pain of the epidural needle that would go into my spine. I have to say that my expectations were way worse than it actually was. I thought it was going to be a needle the size of a chop stick, and that I would feel everything! My mind made it way worse than it was. Haha. He finally did it, and my legs started to feel tingly and warm. My contractions slowly became less and less painful until I virtually felt no pain. I was a happy camper. I looked at your daddy, and said, “man, I feel good… This is the stuff right here.” Then I told him to try and sleep so that he would have energy for later.  That was a fiasco! Hahaha. He was making me laugh because his chair wouldn’t stay together. Hahahahahaha! He would sit in it and it would slowly roll apart! Then he tried to lay on it and it basically rolled him to the floor! It was hilarious!

When you were ready to come, you came!!! There was barely any warning before I was full on pushing! The nurse told me that my contractions were super close together and that we were going to do a “practice” push to see where you were. Well, my doctor walked in at that moment, and made that “practice” push a real one! We went right into it. Your daddy stood on one side of me, and two nurses stood on the other side. The doctor talked me through the pushing. Each time a contraction would come, my main nurse would say take one deep breath in, let it out, now take a huge breath in, hold it, and PUSH!!! Each push had to last 10 seconds as the nurse slowly counted it out. Then I could release my air. We did 3 pushes per contraction. It was rough. I didn’t exactly know how hard I was pushing since I could not feel my muscles that well. I still felt everything, just not as much with the epidural and stuff. Your daddy was right there helping the nurses hold my legs, telling me to keep going, and that I was doing so good! He kept saying how strong I was, and that I was definitely stronger than him! Hahaha… All I heard for a while was… “breath, come on! Push, push, push, come on Stephanie, you’re doing great, keep going! Come on, one more time… You got it. PUSH!!! You’re doing so good babe! I love you so much… Ok, breath, and PUSH! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and breath…” The nurse was the slowest counter in the world, I mean it! Hahaha. After a while of this, you started to come, and then BAM! You were right there so fast, like the blink of an eye. Elijah James Holland, born at 2:38am at 7 pounds 9 ounces and 21 inches long! I cannot even begin to describe in words what I felt at that moment. So fast, yet from that point on everything seemed like slow motion. You were crying, flailing around, and they immediately put you on my chest and I held you for the first time while daddy and I kept touching you, rubbing your head, and talking to you. Daddy then got to cut your umbilical cord, and we got to be there with you for a long time. You stopped crying right when they laid you on my chest and you were able to hear my heart beat, but mommy and daddy kept on crying. Haha. That was so cool! I have never been so happy. Crazy how instantly we fell in love. I still can’t believe we did it! I have always been so afraid of giving birth and such a baby when it comes to pain, but once you entered this world, seriously, all the pain went away. Even afterwards when they took you away for a while to clean you up, and the medication started to wear off, all I had to do was think of you, and the pain would go away. It was an awesome experience filled with so many emotions. I was up and down, here and there, but it was all part of bringing you here, which made the time we spent in the hospital all worth it.

Us three the last picture of you in my tummy at home :)

Right before the heavy contraction :)

I was not aware of all the things I would experience when I walked into that hospital, but I lived, and I got through it with God’s help, grace and mercy. I know for a fact, that when you were on your way out, I did not do that on my own. I prayed the entire time, and told Jesus, “ok, Jesus, I can’t do this anymore, but I know that you can, so please give me the strength I need to keep going and see this through. I need your power, and I know I can’t do this without you. So here we go, with your strength Lord,” and out you came!
You have truly been a blessing to our little family. We love you so much, and love taking care of you. We love singing to you, playing with you, talking to you, dressing you, praying with you, and so much more! You have made us into the happiest parents ever! God bless you Elijah, Jesus, your daddy and I love you very much!

Right after you were born!

Just out of the oven!

1 day later, you and daddy